WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I WERE YOU ,I AM DESPERATE

ANYONE,PLEASE Answer me,

HELP!  I am losing years of my life over health,fear of what they did to my dad,WHAT the Doctors do not Pay attention to. 

I take one  Medication form of steroids at least one time Per day of Steroids to Breathe,

some days 2 types. Oral and/or Inhaled,

 I Take 2 Blood Pressure Pills,one for over 10 years NOW. 

     Chronic Pain has been  Twisting my spine and Obtaining my body and removing my essence,for over 15 years,I am sober 17+ and am On Pain medication,that is Prescribed ..BUT IS  NOT  Prescribed properly .

    Same pill amount  for 5-years at least, same 15 mg's short acting so ....It is HELL.

  I have a Large hemangioma on the thoracic vertebrae T8 and a small one and tail no one says crap about! AND I AM TOLD NO PAIN..BULL I have had pain there for yrs.I had the wrong Implant operated into the TMJ JOINT ON RIGHT they had to take my r ear off to do,and the 5 months after it needed to be removed could go ON I SUFFER AND SUFFER

 WHEN it is LONG TERM it is supposed to be changed to a LONG ACTING,My DOC refuses to address this,and says,OH NO!

  Every 4 -5.5 hrs I am in some type of with-drawl .It is complicated by depression,and anxiety ...Regret and Ignorance.   Literally I am Losing my self

,My ability to want anyone around, 

Miss-communication and not understanding Create ANIMOSITY 

Misinterpretation-on Both ENDS...HELP PLEASE SOME ONE say what is up,

when my family relocated to NJ from AZ, I went to DR

Philip EATOUGH,  Keansberg / Eatontown. HE 

changed my med.s,to SHort acting,and LONG PLUS anxiety pill+ break through+ antibiotic, Un specified,timeframes,"I was told My body will figure it our or something,he did Put a amount and so on but is what he said,he said NO cold water/foods, No hot only room temp,no vegetables,no fruit,only meat and Potatoes. My stomach was killing me on top of all other complaints,this was new and BAD! Well, HE DID A hemlock LIKE MANEUVER ON ME 

and said see that hurt right!

      I said well not where the Pain I speak of,

IT HURT HAT YOU DID BUT NOT THE PAIN I ALWAYS HAD HE HURT ME  AND ON THE  wrong spot to boot he did the maneuveragain!,and OH MY GOSH IT KILLED ME,I sucked it up told him he was insane,and discontinued as h I have my hubby with me,and we called hi PONY TAIL DOC WHAT HE DID WAS made my Medical Record scare any help for a real PAIN DOC! for me...I did not consume all he RXED,HE WOULD ALSO SAY  "you are so close to being off all this medication,as I went I Would see the SAME WOMAN? weird hu" WELL HE JUST RECEIVED 41 MONTHS IN JAIL! and my records are screwed, I then went to DR Lin XU, who's very thorough and kind,but a pillophobe and refused to rx or treat me for a length of time and I needed to find a PAIN DOC/clinic...YEA right I get to Dr Lavien Pain Clinic Of NJ or what ever it was or how ever you spell his name,he is POMPUs and carefree,and could care less about me. and IT WOULD then become a TREND. NO ONE would see me,A conceived drug seeker! 

yes, I WAS SEEKING A Dr. to rx me all of my meds,including my class 2's BP,Thyroid and others..WHY should I be treated any different,NO HX of abuse,lost running out?No DR hoping..JUST BULL CRAP for me who suffers .

I called the Pain Clinic in Freehold Center State"well,I said I would like to have an appointment with Dr. so and so,they said what is your name? I gave it,and then I was told they will call back. Less than 15 min I received a call,and they said,No they cannot treat me there????I gave no records,Only My name! I asked why,THEY refused to say! Went to the patient Advocate and...THEy said they would help,they came back and said,They are a separate  entity and do not have to see me.

 IT IS disgrace full THAT A DR   can screw it up,and TALK BEHIND PATIENTS BACKS...THe HIPAA is a TOOL for the doctors to hide or BS..I will add later this is way over board.....

it should have been JUST easy,get a dr and ,and work together,I am allfor off medication I HATE IT ALL.BUT I refuse to be tourtured with more injections and BAD OPERATIONS ,and after my dads 6 months of HELL WITH HIM and the MR CAMPBEL..ABUSE of POWEr..

What can I do,cant even get a blood test result addressed,and not even told!  THAT WAS TAKEN IN March! and not one word about my TSH..    damit MEnapause" 

PAUSE THOSE MEN heheheheh

really HELP I am dyeing

EVERY DAY I AM STUCk 95% of the time

IF ONE THING COULD HELP 10% How will it IMPACT MY LIFE for the GOOD?

damit

DAM IT SCREW ME UP THROW ME OVER BOARD AND FEED ME TO THE CRABS!

will it get better? ever pass the day please

I

 asked  I requested my last Blood test

My husband returned with my other test results?

SO what,who cares HOW much worst I feel,I make it hell for my family days and days and days....what the heck do I get the tests done for? WHY am I so UPSET I am so close to LOSING   IT ,ME, MY DAYS MAKE MY HUSBANDS,DAUGHTERS AND ANYONE THAT DEALS WITH ME...HELL

MISS COMUNICATE.....SO WHY AM I BEING SO UNREASONABLE?

so I was at the Hospital today with my child,and I got the last blood test!

damit

how cna a DR be so freaking   I do not know what to say about it.

MY TSH is 6.70 and I am ON SYNTHROID?

so what the hell

I cry 

I am hot i am looseing hair

I am so weak!

depression

maybe its this

THE TEST WAS DONE 3 months ago!

HOW CAN THIS BE REAL..Please TELLME

I take my meds..

do my tests

I am suffering here 

HELLO  test one two test 34

Matawan High School Fashion SHOW"

My Baby Girl!  Monique at the age of 

17, She is Amazingly mature for her age. 

Wiser than most even at my age of 48.

My daughter produced the "Fashion Show 2009" 

              

 Matawan High School, 

 Producer : Monique Chartier anyway......

MY SON Joseph Chartier A professional DJ who was visiting for Moms day,Just jumped in,so almost all of my family,was involved,except  MIKE was involved with the 2009 Fashion SHOW! And...... it ran like a well oiled machine.My husband did help he allways helps!

 My daughter is amazing.

 She is an, endless Source, Resource,for anybody,everybody.... 

She did all of everything as above and below this Sentence and more....

YET MADE SURE SHE FOUND TIME and made cupcakes,and special Pop Corn for fundraising purposes!

I helped with getting some donations Had If I would have  received the Letter head ,for donations sooner,I would have had so much for the tricky tray! 

MY FAMILY IS AMAZINGLY GIFTED. And I am so Blessed!

And Despite Lifes  Twists and Turns

 we get along just fine!

 My girl is Quite Smart and Is very Honest. An asset to any group,a Loyal Friend. When she decides on an employer, THEY will be Lucky to have

" Monique Angelica Chartier" On their Team!

                                       Even-When attacked OR AFTER BEING:

SHe is just as  easy to work with, as if it had not happened,She is Above this,Knowing she is not there to Impress ,(anyone else but GOD)

             Open Minded and Calm..... She just moved forward!

as I move Backwards,Last YEAR! 

 Sewing class,  She , Mrs. C and I, met Inside the  Matawan Library (monique was there daily,Each Class was a different day and time) . We even" though very busy without of state family business,my depression and......an Unexpected Mother's Day Trip to MA to see the Dresden Dolls"

    STILL   Monique mixed ALL of the songs,Edited and,checked for any In-appropriate Lyrics! SHE  did the Music, for 2.5 hours , and Copied to 3 Separate disks........  #one for beginning show and first Half  #two was Intermission Hum I wonder if ANYONE EVEN LISTENED TO HER WONDERFUL WORK?

And got the back drop designed from home and more..as well as making sure things got to the school.........EVEN though we were out of the state!

CAME RIGHT BACK instead of going to local MA Galleries and  Boutiques and so on!                             And a day after returning the show was CANNED!